humor

Morning Surprises

Just a few words to start the day,
I started late so I’ve not much to say.
The sun’s rising later and my clock’s askew.
I got up too early but there was nothing to do.
~
So I went back to bed to feel some heat.
I used my cold toes to tickle her feet.
She woke with a shriek from a deep sleep.
She kissed me anyway even though I’m a creep.
~
Our day’s now begun and started with fun.
Although it’s a bit late it’s not yet one.
Now we’ll share our coffee and plan our day.
What happens next I cannot say.

~*~
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Doin’

I feel a storm a brewin’
And thoughts, they are a stewin’
Seems procrastination ain’t so great
Time it seems just won’t wait
~
Youthful dreamin’ put on hold
Earnin’s first, I’ve been told
While the future does still beckon
It’s path though I’ve yet to reckon
~
But my guitar needs a playin’
And my hips need a swayin’
My pencil needs more dancin’
And of course there’s more romancin’
~
So much to do, so little time left to waste
Ponderin’s ahead, no need for haste
I am after all a master procrastinator
So I’ll get old, but just a little bit later

~*~
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Me and My Guitar

A rocky road young love traveled,
she hit the brakes and life unraveled.
The music stopped and she left with my car.
The road now waits for me and my guitar.
~
Playing corner gigs for nickels and dimes,
ain’t got much voice but got good rhymes.
For every heart break there’s a song.
Then another and it don’t take long.
~
The sun’s sinking low and hungers on high,
when the loveliest of ladies caught my eye.
With twenty bucks or so in change,
necessity was now in range.
~
The weight of my wealth couldn’t slow me down.
I chased that lady half way cross town.
We shared a laugh and a quick bite.
I asked if I could crash for the night.
~
Her Benz was parked just around the block.
We both jumped in and started to rock.
Till the music stopped and she left with her car.
The road now waits for me and my guitar.

~*~
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Shine On

Back before sneakers where all the craze

Back in my good ole shoe-shinin’ days

Lugged a box that nearly scraped the ground

At six or seven I roamed all over town

 .

Had a place for quarters one for nickels and dimes

And a pocket for pennies, for change sometimes

So when given a quarter for your ten-cent shines

Make change in pennies, you’ll keep-it most times

 .

Busy summers at the beach and the bars

I had to be careful because of the cars

I drank lots of soda, learned lots of jokes

Once got caught stealin’ a fresh pack of smokes

 .

The bartender yelled “I’ll kick your ass”

I ran out of there really fast

I had to be done by the afternoon

Cuz the big kids would be shinin’ there soon

 .

I charged a dime, the others a quarter

I got the tips and they got the fodder

I once got to shine all afternoon

The big kids had a plan I learned real soon

.

They let me shine just to steal my money

They didn’t think my success was funny

I was on my way home when I saw them comin’

They yelled my name and I went runnin’

 .

With a hand in my pocket to hold up my wealth

Little shiny feet flyin protecting our health

My shine-box banging, bruising knees

So I took a shortcut through the trees

 .

Then I got grabbed tryin’ to climb a wall

They caught up quick cuz they were tall

I only got hit a couple of times

They left the pennies, took the nickels and dimes

 .

It was a fight I couldn’t win, but I didn’t lose

Cuz I limped home – quarters in my shoes

 ~

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A Lonely Princess

Where rocky cliff meets stormy sea,

a castle perched, forever be.

Where gray stone surrounds little seen sky.

‘Twas this fortress a young princess cry.

 .

The princess post birth, her parents delight,

treasured by day, guarded by night.

Feasting with jesters, ponies, puppets and maids,

a gaggle of servants draw bright velvet shades

.

With sentry of knight to share all her dreams,

her eyes shut tight to hide her screams.

Time wasted limitless, she wished for an end.

The princess was lonely without a true friend.

..

One morning awoken by a kiss from a queen,

sleepy eyes opened to a sight seldom seen.

Golden light sparkles in diamond pane rare,

a sapphire morn burns black coal night air.

 .

A tasty breakfast served on tray in bed.

Downy pillows fluffed to rest her head.

The king arrived more jolly than ever,

with riddle to solve, if anyone clever.

 .

“What may have wings cannot fly.

Holds a heart yet cannot die.

Shaken pitch laughs off rain.

Having one a princess to gain?”

.

The joyous young girl made many a guess.

The kings’ piddling patience grew less and less.

The queen and knights all had a try.

The king muttered “castle!” with a loud sigh.

.

The room bemused by the riddler’s zeal.

Most unconcerned with how others feel.

A castle repeated in more pleasant a tone,

a home for a princess to call her own.

 .

But first a short trip outside the wall,

where grass tickles feet and trees grow tall.

There are lessons to learn from tutors wise.

There are truths to see with growing eyes.

.

Now’s time a princess must prepare,

for the eventual call of a prince to be dear.

A someday king awaits his throne,

whence you shall rest upon your own.

 .

The princess knew the day would come,

a bartered prize as was her Mum.

No fairy tale endings for spawn of kings.

“Tis a life shackled with heavy gold rings.

 .

Adventure awaits, no time for self-pity,

freedom’s short locked in a stone city.

Knowledge abounds beyond heavy gates.

The princess skips past on worn ancient slates.

.

Beneath a fine bonnet of satin and lace,

excitement glowed on her adolescent face.

Her velvet shoes barely touching the dirt,

a merry cyclone a-swirl in silk skirt.

.

Her mentor soon waves from path by wood.

Magical flora beckons, some bad, some good.

Wonders overwhelm in green forest lush.

An ocean of emeralds painted with brush.

 .

With each lash a-flutter bursts a new color.

Light and shades multiply them all more.

With the thirst of a sponge she did explore,

where surprises abound when not looked for.

 .

A gentle breeze blew, a little leaf flew,

bright sky filled in the space anew

A ray of sunlight kissed a shiny stone.

Atop a bed of dewy leaf it rests alone.

 .

With a tiny tap upon its shimmering side,

the distant fates of two collide.

Surface cracking on this egg thought stone,

a heartbeat wakened with thunderous tone.

.

Out popped a plump lump, beneath wings of scale.

A pat on the rump exposed its long tail.

A final stretch thrust shell shards to leaf.

And there lie a creature beyond belief.

 .

Warm smiles shared with a new friend.

A precious little pearl, the girl’s to defend.

The gazes shattered by a howl from the trail,

‘twas the elderly teacher, impatient and frail.

 .

The princess knew what had to be done.

The babe hid under her bonnet and bun.

Down the path she ran back to the gate.

Yelled to the guards “The teacher was late”

 .

Gates barely open she slipped through the crack,

escaping notice of the tail down her back.

Safe in her chamber they shared the night’s meal,

both sharing puckers with fresh lemon peel.

 .

Then swathed in plush robes, kissed on the head,

the fledgling was tucked safely under the bed.

Each night passing, more robes to conceal,

this teething tot with big teeth that’s real.

 .

Each day growing from the princess’s scraps,

she grew thinner, now padded with straps.

The servants grew nervous at both the sight,

one lie near weightless, one flew in the night.

.

The princess’s secret though soon was known,

when her expanding friend went out alone.

The knights became dazed by armored flight,

their swords no match for the hunger of night.

.

The king and queen where too nearly maimed.

Pawns, bishops and rooks where all to be blamed.

A wizard was called to tame the toddler beast.

His tenure cut short when almost a feast.

 .

The creature now huge, truly loved the girl.

She called her Sunshine, the princess’s Pearl.

Together they frolicked on the castle rooftop.

The king spying danger called for a stop.

 .

Shouting “time’s come to put childhood behind,

It’s now time to marry, I’ve someone in mind.

He’s brave, sweet, wise and kind, at least I’m told.

There’ll be time to adjust as you both grow old.”

.

Escorted by king to a royal coach and four,

off to be locked behind another gilded door.

Her fate was sealed by a noble families need,

alliances grown with common regal seed.

.

But with a twist, jerk and a naughty giggle,

the squiggly princess was free now to wiggle.

Breaking free, running fast, past all unaware.

She zigged and zagged toward the rooftop stair.

 .

Screaming loudly for her only friend Pearl,

who tried to save the much pursued girl.

A guard with a pike held Pearl on a chain.

Blocking the Sunshine’s escape of the reign.

 .

Seeing her friend at the top of the stair,

Pearl snapped her links then into the air.

The petrified guard fled from his post,

grabbing for Sunshine he’d surely be toast.

 .

The princess ran to the edge of the roof,

yelling to Pearl, she feared aloof.

The big eared beast sharply turned about,

hearing her Sunshine’s gloomy shout

 .

The king with guards, knights and queen,

Stormed to the roof unprepared for what’s seen.

The princess looked back, blew a kiss to her mother,

and a warm thoughtful wave to all the other.

.

Then with a carefree step she disappeared.

Plunging to her sudden death, or so was feared.

The mortified lookers all lunged for the ledge.

Hoping the princess landed safe in a hedge.

.

The king peeked over, not wanting to see,

when up rose his honey like a big bumble bee.

She hung from the neck of her dear friend Pearl,

now bonded for life, this dragon and girl.

 .

Higher she climbed with a dragons eye view,

a view to be viewed by a very small few.

Now all surveyed, now all her realm,

Sunshine’s the captain, Pearl the helm.

.

Over forest and mountains, ocean and stream,

free in a world where she need not dream.

Adrift on her Pearl upon the endless sea,

Alone they now be in their realm of fantasy.

.

The king broken-hearted wept in his sleep.

The queen stricken ill with never a peep.

They later agreed to bare a new heir,

whether girl or boy was not a care.

 .

The next child’s fate was sure to be better,

born free of mind and trappings that clutter.

With a loving heart nurtured by family and friends,

then given the choices to choose their own ends.

 .

The princess returned in time for the birth.

The kingdom was full of merriment and mirth.

The princess enchanted with her friend who flew.

And all ends happily as fairy tales all do.

 *

The End

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Shunned for life

Instantaneous conception

Darkened suspension

Quintessential isolation

Thrusted illumination

Blissful termination

Trusted dedication

Explored dimension

Forced memorization

Infinite confusion

Rising tension

Tense deliberation

Lofty ambition

Numbing frustration

Occasional jubilation

Generational creation

Much tribulation

Restful justification

Deserved relaxation

Diminishing pension

Perpetual hibernation

But so far mostly fun

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Jen and Ben ~ School Starts Soon

Summer’s soon over, vacation’s now past.
The first day of school was coming fast.
The twins: Jen and Ben can’t decide.
Jen wants to go but Ben wants to hide.
~
Jen wants to learn and make new friends.
Ben wishes that the summer never ends.
They both agree they are getting older.
Ben’s a little wiser and Jen a bit bolder.
~
Ben’s gotten bigger, Jen’s starting to read.
They race to the sandbox and Jen’s in the lead.
It’s the last weekend before school starts.
There they’ll learn letters, numbers and art.
~
Ben likes to paint; Jen loves to drum.
She taps on her pail and Ben starts to hum.
Ben uses a stick to draw in the sand.
Jen gets a shovel and gives Ben a hand.
~
Mom brings out lunch for them to share.
She talks about school, but Ben doesn’t care.
Mom says it’s kindergarten, just half a day.
Jen hugs Ben and says there’s time to play.
~
Ben feels better and gets back to eating.
Dad joins in for a Saturday lunch meeting.
They finish their lunch then have dessert.
Jen climbed a tree; Ben played in the dirt.
~
Supper’s soon then bath time and bed.
But first they’ll find dad, he’s in the shed.
The table is set for the twin’s favorite dish.
It’s roasted potatoes, coleslaw and fish.
~
The cat likes fish too and jumps on Ben’s lap.
Jen starts to giggle and gives her a scrap.
Ben gave her another and mom said no more.
Hers comes in a bag we buy at the store.
~
Mom takes a seat and dad serves the slaw.
Jen spills her drink; Ben drops his straw.
The mess cleaned up and the meal enjoyed.
Ben finished first, Jen was annoyed.
~
There’s time for a game then scrub-a-dub.
Jen likes the shower; Ben likes the tub.
He plays with boats and pretends to swim.
Jen’s much quicker, like they are at the gym.
~
Mom reads a book; dad turns out the light.
Kisses all around and then goodnight.
Both quiet and still they stare at the moon.
They drift off thinking of school starting soon.

~*~
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Just Poet

To be a poet one must only write.
And be in awe of day and night.
Inspiration abounds without refrain.
Absorb all, both pleasure and pain.
~
I didn’t ask to be me or you, you.
But to express is what we do.
Not all writes can be a song.
But no writes are ever wrong.
~
Dawn welcomes most every day.
Shadows of the dark go either way.
Sleep’s never quite enough.
Dreams fill time with better stuff.
~
And love it seems is part of the deal.
Hearts will break, to bleed we heal.
The soul burns to see the light.
To be a poet one must only write.

~*~
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The Albino Bearded Lizard Wizard

The albino bearded lizard wizard’s not a lizard at all.
In fact, he’s a boy, albino and bearded and he stands quite tall.
He does have a lizard, albino and bearded, who answers the wizards’ call.
Nightly laughter they both share atop the garden wall.
~
The lizard too is a wizard and a monster he’s often called.
Their youth remained for centuries; maturity was forestalled.
Each knew they were different, both glad to have a friend.
But time was ticking forward, their childhood was soon to end.
~
Graduation day finally came, the students waited on their stool.
The beasts too had graduated and now feasted by the pool.
The awkward albino bearded pair huddled in the shade,
They both laughed together, surprised they made the grade.
~
The worldly wizard queen then gave her graduation speech.
Her awestruck audience listened as a proclamation she did screech.
“All wizards must be prepared for a battle yet to be named.
The dragons were disgusted and wanted the humans tamed.”
~
The dragons were the wizards’ kings and kings of all there be.
Then the wizards sided with mankind and the change we now see.
The dragons then outnumbered but will always get their way.
So, the dragons hid, plotted, and waited for their perfect day.
~
A meeting was soon needed and a message they did send.
The queen, a very tolerant wizard, was ordered to attend.
The dragons asked the queen which side she would now assist.
She called for the albino bearded pair and said that they’ll be missed.
~
A journey the pair would make and a message they would take.
They were to find the dragons’ leer, if not, their wizardry’s fake.
At first the journey was tranquil, until the trees turned into moss.
But the map was clear, the ocean’s near and soon they had to cross.
~
The pair sat together throughout the night; laughter was not shared.
The next day was spent thinking about why they had been dared.
They questioned their strength in wizardry and why they were sent.
They pondered the most important thing; what their failure meant.
~
Shore line bound on a rocky beach the ocean soon flooded their view.
Another step and they must swim, what else was the pair to do.
Warm and dry on the wizards’ shoulder the lizard saw a true friend.
A selfless friend who’s always there, until the cold and bitter end.
~
Their bond now frozen in time the lizard leapt with the joy of a new start.
With a splash, waves of emotion swept over the lizards’ tiny cold heart.
The loyal wizard dove into the icy abyss to save his lifelong mate.
He didn’t give a second thought to what might be his fate.
~
With each clumsy stroke the friends grew larger and stronger.
Their powers finally realized; fears were theirs no longer.
Overcoming adversity was their gift and proven every day.
The pair, now reassured, knew they’d find their way.
~
The swim became enjoyable, greeting whales as they swam.
The pair now too were giants and as happy as a clam.
They traveled day and night before the land came into view.
A land covered in snow and ice; a place seen by just a few.
~
Staring into the future whilst reflecting on their past.
Forward was their path, tomorrow’s coming fast.
There was no time to frolic in this new and mystical place.
The friends had never felt the snow on their chilly face.
~
Onward they tread, each unaware of their enormous new size.
To each, the same old friend, in each other’s eyes.
The snow was getting deeper as the sun began to fade.
A shadow appeared ahead, a choice, then was made.
~
The fearless pair followed the shadow into the dark and unknown.
As the shadow disappeared, a dragon, then magically grown.
With salutations all around their dragon guide led the way.
Tirelessly they all ventured until the break of day.
~
The sun rose and a castle of ice glistened in the distance.
The albino pair stood in awe of this grand palace’s existence.
Large and foreboding gates began to open as the trio came near.
Once safely inside they were all greeted with a loud cheery cheer.
~
A bountiful feast was enjoyed, and conversation ensued.
As the hours grew late eyelids grew heavy and sleep set the mood.
A good night’s rest was enjoyed whence summoned by the king.
The angry King loudly inquired what excuses do they bring.
~
“We bring no excuses”, proclaimed the wizard, newly confident.
“We bring a message from our beloved queen, her love evident.”
“She doesn’t think war’s the answer and will not participate.”
“Humans, too, will soon grow up, so why tempt our children’s fate?”
~
The king, unamused, then asked the lizard why they were sent.
The lizard replied, “Our queen is wise, your concern is misspent.”
The king screamed to his guards “arrest them now, my patience depleted!”
The pair stood with a smile and grew some more, as was needed.
~
The guards ran away while the king, defiantly, stood alone.
“We mean no harm” said the wizard, “sit back on your throne.”
The king was furious, confused and more than a little afraid.
He then sat back on his throne and said, “what deal can be made.”
~
“No deals are needed”, said the lizard,” our job here’s complete.”
“The Queen’s message received, now we’re back to get some heat.”
Provisions were provided and the pair happily headed home.
Both, rightfully relieved to be free of that frozen catacomb.
~
Their journey back was faster as the pair now knew the way.
Their kingdom waited patiently for their return home, some day.
Back home they were greeted with fanfare and thanked by one and all.
Then the albino bearded lizard and wizard returned to their garden wall.
~
The End

~*~
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Patchwork

I woke today in a fog.
But autumn’s now in view.
There’ll be more days of sky high temps,
though fortunately just a few.
~
My body’s burned with a patchwork tan,
the grass a patchwork of brown.
Smiles await bluer skies,
but for now I’ve still a frown.
~
Perhaps today I’ll write a poem,
better than those before.
I used to say that every day,
but now I’m not so sure.
~
Like the seasons, time does change,
creativity comes and goes.
Inspiration’s all around,
but negativity grows and grows.
~
I need a cool crisp morning,
with leaf of red and gold.
Though summers can be wonderful,
this one’s getting old.
~
Maybe it’s just a fantasy,
thinking words will find their way.
Maybe the fantasy’s over,
of being joyous every day.
~
Peering up from my lap,
I see the fog starting to clear.
Though my paper is still blank,
I know a story’s near.
~
My eyes now wide open,
my pencil’s sharp and new.
Optimistically I scribble a word,
the clouds now but few.
~
One word turns to another,
a third leads to a line.
Verses soon will follow,
and again the day is mine.
~
I’m glad this patchwork is over.
And I’m sure that you are too.
I’m thankful for your time today,
my inspiration being you.

~*~
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To Day

Today will be different than yesterday.
Yesterday was sunny, today it’s gray.
Yesterday was warm with skies of blue.
Today is rainy and there’s nothing to do.
~
Oh, I’ve projects o’many, my list is long.
The radio blasts yet another old song.
With pencil in hand my mind goes astray.
I’ll scribble on paper things I don’t say.
~
Today will be different, I’ve changes to make.
Yesterday was wasted, but I did buy a rake.
Yesterday’s gone, its memory will wane.
Today is here and I’ve a future to gain.
~
I’ve done some bad, but mostly good deeds.
Now I’ve all the things that one really needs.
And for love, joy, health and youth I’m glad.
I scribble today: three out of four ain’t bad.

~*~
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Shardatan

You think you know someone, then they turn.
Their actions are hurtful and cause for concern.
I know you have problems, as we all do.
I too have problems, but I wouldn’t steal from you.
~
I try not to hate, but sometimes it’s hard.
I try to find goodness, no more than a chard.
But when shards get smaller, they’re hard to find.
When shards unfound the friendship’s behind.
~
Your shard is now minuscule, as are you.
You screwed the wrong person, I know what to do.
I’ll do the right thing; that’s no match for a thief.
And when karma befalls, I’ll laugh with relief.

~*~
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More Yore

We long for more;
those days of yore.
But not before the mall.
~
The air was clean,
stars were seen.
Masks worn at a ball.
~
Murders were less,
less guns, I guess.
Courage is earned after all.
~
The food then was real,
not freeze, nuke and peel.
Our body’s now a catchall.
~
Commercials were cheery,
now they are scary.
Someone’s going to fall.
~
Whoa! clock’s running fast,
the present’s now past.
The future’s now to befall.

~’~
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