humor

For the Birds

A summer morning lovely,
I dashed out for a walk.
The birds were singing cheerfully,
we all then had a talk.
~
They asked me where I’m going,
I told them I don’t know.
They said they’re not surprised,
that’s how humans go.
~
They’re always going someplace,
not often knowing where.
You’d think they own this planet,
the one we have to share.
~
I feared my life was over,
Hitchcock came to mind.
A war soon was coming,
everything against mankind.
~
I hurried home to safety,
not knowing what to do.
My dog now too looks scary,
gnawing on a plastic chew.

~*~
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Monsters

My world is quite small as you can see,

holds fewer monsters that’ll scare me.

Though they’re there, under bed too,

in the mirror they see you!

~

Outside, you know, they’re everywhere.

They happily haunt without a care.

With unwanted visits, I’m never alone.

These monster’s I fear are all my own.

~

Lurking weighty on shadowy shelves,

they’re all the weaknesses of ourselves.

All reminders of what we’re not.

That’s why monsters scare us a lot

~

The End

*

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A Cynic View

I warn you now I have no clue

Where this poem is going to

Or if it is a poem at all

I can’t decide, you make the call

`

Trees fallen for me to rhyme

Till out of space, bounds, breath and time

Out to lunch and there I’ll join you

We’ll rearrange words on life’s menu

`

Time is free, food is not

Sleep spent in dollars per spot

Feet walk, wheels run

Hands make wings to the sun

`

Voices singing for all who hear

Through buds growing in the ear

Tiny wires dangle from there

Yet no-one seems to give a care

`

With tablet and Wi-Fi at the ready

Media replaced good ole teddy

Designer binkies between the lips

Smartphones at the fingertips

`

Toddlers hunched, stroller bound

Multi cup-holders and Dolby sound

Of course a visor to shield the sun

The big glowing face that was once fun

 `

Now a menace to one and all

Best to stay in until the fall

When leafy suburbs bags abound

Full of leaves, once on the ground

 `

Cleared from lawns to keep them green

Exchanged with poisons in-between

Until the snow, when all’s forgotten

Of summer days way back when

 `

When sunny skies made all seem bright

Laughter filling playful moonlight

Now games played with only thumbs

Killing the most for the biggest sums

 `

Some might win the rest will lose

Most can’t, but some will choose

Now we’ve all a choice to make

Was it ever real or just a real fake?

`

Or if it ever will be, or ever was

Or just maybe it is – just because

~*~

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She’s too Nice to Play

~

I’ve waited for this moment

My whole short life long

I think about her everyday

And now to write her song

.

Oh she’s my pretty baby

But she’s too nice to play

I know she’ll never love me

But I want her any way

.

She’s a curly long neck blonde

And her moans so ever sweet

When I hold her in my arms

She knocks me off my feet

.

Oh she’s my pretty baby

But she’s too nice to play

I know she’ll never love me

But I want her any way

.

I saved up all my money

I ain’t been eatin’ right

But when I cash this paycheck

I’ll be takin her home tonight

.

Oh she’s my pretty baby

But she’s too nice to play

I know she’ll never love me

But I want her any way

.

I’ve been eye’n her now for years

And she’s waited just for me

Soon we’ll slip up the backstairs

So nobody else will see

.

Oh she’s my pretty baby

But she’s too nice to play

I know she’ll never love me

But I want her any way

.

I unwrapped her very slowly

My heart picked up a beat

Now with her curves in my hands

My life now feels complete

.

Oh she’s my pretty baby

But she’s too nice to play

I know she’ll never love me

But I want her any way

.

I wrap my arms around her

I hold her real tight

When I feel her around my neck

It makes me feel just right

.

Oh she’s my pretty baby

But she’s too nice to play

I know she’ll never love me

But I want her any way

. 

She tempts me oh so very much

While she sits close and still

To have her rest upon my knee

She gives me the biggest thrill

.

Oh she’s my pretty baby

But she’s too nice to play

I know she’ll never love me

But I want her any way

 .

Though rarely is she picked-up

She never lets me down

She always leaves me breathless

I think I’m gonna drown

.

Oh she’s my pretty baby

But she’s too nice to play

I know she’ll never love me

But I want her any way

.

Now swaddled in golden satin

She does forever lay

Her beauty I’m unworthy

Cos she’s just too nice to play

.

Oh she’s my pretty baby

But she’s too nice to play

I know she’ll never love me

But I want her any way

 .

Oh she’s my pretty baby

But she’s too nice to play

I know she’ll never love me

But I love her any way

~*~

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One of Those (many) Days

Ever have a day when nothing goes right?
You get up late from a sleepless night.
The gray surrounds with no refrain.
The day’s chilly with dreary rain.
.
Inhale some eggs with runny yolks.
Now running behind but out of smokes,
detoured to the store to buy some more.
Rush to work, tip toe through the door.
.
But the boss is there, bad news had.
A report’s disappeared, computer’s bad.
The day runs long, no time for lunch.
Tomorrow’s the same, I’ve a hunch.
.
Then finally home but all alone.
Heat’s off and chilled to the bone.
Boiler’s ready, thermostat’s not.
Batteries needed that I forgot.
.
Hunger’s remembered, cupboards bare.
Cereal found, no milk to spare,
so half a box will have to do.
Nights half over, I’m glad it’s through.

~*~
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The Write Time

I’ve done lots of things.
But I haven’t done them all.
There’s still much to do.
And my list isn’t small.
~
My time’s growing short.
My energy’s sinking fast.
But I’ll never quit,
as long as I can last.
~
Dawn will start my days.
I’ll survive a wingsuit flight.
Languages I’ll learn.
And songs I’d love to write.
~
I’ll sail all the seas.
But that’s gonna take a while.
For now, smaller goals,
today I’ll share some smiles.

~*~
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Bursting with Joy

~

Bubbles can be big

Bubbles can be small

Bubbles mostly clear

But not always a ball

.

From the wands of wizards

Bubbles bring much joy

From toddlers to centurions

They’re everyone’s favorite toy.

.

In tubs, ponds and pools

Bubbles can be had

Sure to bring a giggle

To the naughty and the sad

.

But when a bubble’s external

And we’re trapped within

Remember that fun is free

When it’s made with a grin

~*~

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Nerdy Lingerie

On tippy toes looking pert,
she dances in her Hogwarts shirt.
Her thick round glasses gaze my way,
she’s so darn cute in nerdy lingerie.
~
She kisses me with a smile,
I kiss her back and we giggle a while.
The music stops but we don’t care,
it’s more about the hugs that we share.
~
She wears her PJ’s when not in bed,
her hair’s always tousled on her head.
She excites me greatly every day,
with or without her nerdy lingerie.

~*~
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I Will

I will be your king,
If you will be my queen.
I will be your tour guide;
we’ll go places never seen.
~
I will be your army,
when foes stand in your way.
I will be your lover,
each and every day.
~
I will be your soulmate,
holding you when you’re blue.
I will make you laugh,
it’s what best friends do.
~
I will be your everything,
we’ll never want for none.
We’ll share our tomorrows,
baby lets have our fun.

~*~
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Day 12 ~ Supercalaplagiarizticandishouldknowbetterohsheesh

I got a writer’s block vacation journal rolled up in my pocket.
I got seven sharp new pencils.
But I know some still mock’em.
I don’t use a pen for fear that I’ll lose it.
I’m a caffeine charged frazzled poet.
And I do it all for you.
~
I got a Led Zeppelin record and I know you want to hear it.
A 3D diorama, I spend my time in it.
I got a writer’s block vacation journal rolled up in my pocket.
I thought I had some good ideas.
But I gave’em all to you
I gave’em all to you…

~*~
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Morning Triku #171 ~ No Roads an Island

Weathering Heights

With beauty comes love.
With nature comes peace of mind.
Both come change with force.
~

Guess Good

Heaven or hell is.
It’s the instant before death.
Pre and post a guess.
~

No End

Running on empty,
writing talk of walk the walk,
while crawling on full.

~*~
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Swing Band

While riding today on my swing,
I heard a song and started to sing.
It’s an outside song, inside not heard,
beetles clicking with a chirping bird.
*
In the wood wind blows through the trees.
Back-up came from the buzzing bees.
Keeping the beat atop a log,
bass was played by a croaking frog.
*
My little dog barked but not too loud.
My kitty cat danced and meowed.
It’s nature’s band and I will sing,
soaring high on my backyard swing.


~*~
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The Constant Factor

A formula for life, not yet conceived

Or perhaps it has and I’ve been deceived

Some might see a problem, puzzle or game

To integrate all sides to equal the same

.

An equation’s unsolvable when incomplete

Or the solutions wrong and we have to repeat

Though an unknown constant can be hard to tell

This constant unknown, we’ll just call “L”

.

Thus L is the constant that can’t be defined

It can’t be measured or graphed on a line

It’s totally irrational, follows no rules

It can’t be made or dissected with tools

.

It’s unquantifiable, but rarely there’s none

When completely subtracted the answer’s just one

It must be shared but not borrowed, no debtor

May not be infinite but more is better

.

When factored with care the solution’s made clear

That a theory this simple we all must share

That joy is derived when summed with above

And this constant “L” I speak, is the factor of Love

 ~

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Day ?

Oh no it’s Saturday!

My vacation’s nearly done.

I mostly sat around.

But I had a little fun.

~

Bird sat a parrot,

a story previously told.

Also saw my Ena, 

who’s nearly two years old.

~

We got a lot of rain.

So I didn’t cut the grass.

I didn’t trim the bushes,

I gave myself a pass.

~

I didn’t do much writing, 

but forced a little bit.

I called it all a journal, 

thought surely not a hit.

~

Back to work on monday.

I really can’t complain.

If I had more time, 

I’d probably go insane.

~*~

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Day 11

I went to an umbrella factory.
I’m glad it didn’t pour.
They don’t make umbrellas there,
at least not anymore.
~
There were a few gift shops,
some chickens and an emu.
The restaurant was closed,
there wasn’t much left to do.
~
But I saw my little Ena.
We had a really nice time.
We said our long goodbyes.
Then home to write today’s rhyme.

~*~
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Day 10

My writer’s block vacation diary
is now on day ten.
I haven’t written this much
since I don’t know when.
~
The day’s still young with lots to go
where it’ll lead I’ve no clue.
A tentative plan was hatched last night,
sounds like something new.
~
I’m waiting for confirmation
until then my time is free.
Because I’m on vacation
and freedom is as it should be.

~*~
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Day 9

Yeah, they made it, little Ena’s here!
Grandpa’s happy to see his dear.
We had a tea party, read some books,
explored all the house’s crannies and nooks.
~
We played some more then off to the tub.
Her mom takes over to scrub a-dub, dub.
We read one more book that turned into three.
Then that sleepy baby fell asleep on me.
~
We all woke today at seven o’clock.
We had some breakfast and found her sock.
Now they’re packing, then to a Pow Wow.
I wanted to go, but I’m too tired now.

~*~
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