loss

Life is Trying

I got fired from my job for eating French fries.
I had some good reasons but the boss said they’re lies.
I only yelled a little and someone called the cops.
My life got put on hold but the bullshit never stops.
~
I couldn’t find work and couldn’t pay my rent.
So I slept in my car, I didn’t have a tent.
I didn’t have an address, didn’t get my mail.
I missed my court date and almost went to jail.
~
The judge gave me a choice of prison or the service.
Prison was no choice but the service made me nervous.
I made my decision, the Navy was my place.
I wasn’t truly free but had a smile on my face.
~
Things were going pretty well at least for a bit.
Then I got really drunk and caught a rash of shit.
Apparently I said too much to the girl of my dreams.
Turns out she’s a narc, cos nothing’s as it seems.
~
My career ended there and I was back out on the street.
I had to do something just so I could eat.
By chance I found a carwash whose owner’s never there.
I spoke with the manager with issues that we share.
~
I spent my days getting dirty cleaning others’ gloom.
I didn’t like the job but it paid for my room.
Then I got my GED and was ready for a change.
I enrolled in junior college but the kids all seemed strange.
~
I didn’t quite finish but I did learn to learn.
I found what we do best are for things we truly yearn.
I wanted a big house, so an architect I would be.
But I couldn’t get the money to earn that degree.
~
I settled on drafting and those two years served me well.
I finally saw a future beyond my life in hell.
Life could be no better, found love and raised a child.
The world blossomed before my eyes until it all went wild.
~
Agony drained my beautiful wife.
Her eyes closed and ended our life.
In the shadows of sorrow I wished for an end.
My long upward spiral was now a downhill trend.
~
Several years have passed and the future again looks bright.
I count my many blessings each and every night.
Time can slip away but I’ve got none left for crying.
And if to ask why it’s that I’m truly trying.

Broken Arrow

A healer of wounds or point to maim,
cupids draw’s reluctant of aim.
Bow’s untied but the bind pains,
the arrow pulled but the blood remains.
~
I close my eyes and the future’s blurred.
I call her name but none is heard.
I feel her touch when I’m alone.
A smile returned no longer shown.
~
My head still turns tho now a twist.
My heart still beats tho now half missed.
And this Valentines I wish not to start,
for a hole filled makes not a whole heart.

~*~
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Sonnet Undone

Take from me this simple band of gold,
walk with me while we both grow old.
Hand in hand our souls inline,
I’ll be yours and you’ll be mine.

In your eyes time does melt,
returning to where love first felt.
Journey’s skyward of life excelled,
when two is one heart beats meld.

Tears and hugs and laughter shared,
stealing kisses whenever dared.
Fate and luck met at the Last Call,
boundless futures in a crystal ball.

A blues band played, forgotten ironically.
Memories are golden because nothing’s free.

*
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Sonic

~*~
I haven’t felt myself today,
though that’s been the way.
Just do and do for dues to pay,
but always more and less to say.

And on the rocks or sand we land,
to lie’s retreat or rise and stand.
And all’s unseen just looking grand,
but there’s always more and, and and…

And tides change with the moons’ resolve.
And life’s propelled as we revolve.
Time’s the riddle not to solve,
but love’s the answer to evolve.

And tomorrows too never stay.
And memories will forever play.
And feelings are, anyway.
But nothing is, as yesterday.

*
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Physcophysical Physics

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Time’s the space between events.
Events made from cause and effect.
Effects felt when closing space,
causing events to speed up the space.
.
Much like life, love and lust,
the time comes and in we’re thrust.
The future is and the past was,
effecting all, just because.

~*~
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Gasping

Shake me please, I can not wake.
Mind’s exhausted, rest I ache.
Nightmares consume the hours long.
Alarms blare with every song.
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A love taken another lost,
spirits dictate, sheets tossed.
Days dark by night I mourn.
Time shared now heart’s torn.
~
Dreams of tomorrow gone in a blink,
eyes shut I fear to think.
Shake me please, I can not wake.
Yesterday’s choke each breath I take.

~*~
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The Pits

Time ticks forward and pendulums swing.
Optimism’s great but doesn’t change a thing.
The future’s unknown, sleep’s for dreams.
Sometime clarity’s not what it seems.
*
Questions swirl in my tired head.
Respite unfound in my tousled bed.
Broken hearts we all have felt.
The gates of hell I have knelt.
*
My soul’s on fire, mind’s aflame.
Yet only I there is to blame.
Anger’s felt with nowhere to go.
My fists bleed my face does show.
*
Passion remains through good and bad.
Words arise, though sometime sad.

~*~
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Erasing Racings

~
We seek to seek a clue
for paths straight and true
where the angle we pursue
is our own point of view.

Degrees unchanged are unseen.
Answers lurk in space between.
All turns return to the mean.
Golden suns and blue sky green.

But the wind never bends.
A loner never lends.
Always best is time with friends.
And the unsummed heart someday mends.

~
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Mourning’s Time  

Mornings lost to mourning

Day’s lost to night

Night’s lost in darkness

Darkness longs for light

`

Sleepless nights, hopeless days

Hopeful nights, time slight

Day’s lost in hands-of-time

Time  wins times fight

`

Fists hide mourning’s face

Gentle hands, mornings bright

Night stars light mourned

Suns rise, all’s right

`

Nights fall, mourning ends

Faces shine ending fright

Mourning put to rest

Day returns to sight

`

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