heartache

Heartache, Headache, Backache and Optimism

I need to write something to cheer me up,
maybe a fairy tale, a trip or new pup.
But no love stories, not any more.
I failed at that before.
~
Now something brighter, no emotion at all.
I won’t have to see it if I write really small.
Perhaps of worlds unknown, can’t be wrong,
something airy and mellow maybe a song.
~
I’ll write of the stars and space beyond,
or of rippled reflections of ducks on a pond.
Or I won’t write at all, I’ll learn the fiddle!
Nah, I’m just kidding and cheered up a little.

~*~
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Re-Pair

While bending over backwards to hold my tongue,
my head touched the dirt, and I twisted my lung.
My body flipped over, my knees smashed on the ground.
Pain then followed and a loud cracking sound.
~
I rose to my feet or so I had planned.
The pain overcame and my plan was panned.
Back on the ground writhing in disgust,
I choose expediency over timely self-trust.
~
One word unsaid was then none to follow,
my tongue now mends, yet heart remains hollow.

~*~
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Life is Trying

I got fired from my job for eating French fries.
I had some good reasons but the boss said they’re lies.
I only yelled a little and someone called the cops.
My life got put on hold but the bullshit never stops.
~
I couldn’t find work and couldn’t pay my rent.
So I slept in my car, I didn’t have a tent.
I didn’t have an address, didn’t get my mail.
I missed my court date and almost went to jail.
~
The judge gave me a choice of prison or the service.
Prison was no choice but the service made me nervous.
I made my decision, the Navy was my place.
I wasn’t truly free but had a smile on my face.
~
Things were going pretty well at least for a bit.
Then I got really drunk and caught a rash of shit.
Apparently I said too much to the girl of my dreams.
Turns out she’s a narc, cos nothing’s as it seems.
~
My career ended there and I was back out on the street.
I had to do something just so I could eat.
By chance I found a carwash whose owner’s never there.
I spoke with the manager with issues that we share.
~
I spent my days getting dirty cleaning others’ gloom.
I didn’t like the job but it paid for my room.
Then I got my GED and was ready for a change.
I enrolled in junior college but the kids all seemed strange.
~
I didn’t quite finish but I did learn to learn.
I found what we do best are for things we truly yearn.
I wanted a big house, so an architect I would be.
But I couldn’t get the money to earn that degree.
~
I settled on drafting and those two years served me well.
I finally saw a future beyond my life in hell.
Life could be no better, found love and raised a child.
The world blossomed before my eyes until it all went wild.
~
Agony drained my beautiful wife.
Her eyes closed and ended our life.
In the shadows of sorrow I wished for an end.
My long upward spiral was now a downhill trend.
~
Several years have passed and the future again looks bright.
I count my many blessings each and every night.
Time can slip away but I’ve got none left for crying.
And if to ask why it’s that I’m truly trying.

The Wounded and the Whys

My time is wasted yet yours is carefree.
My dreams are of you, but you don’t see me.
I’ve tried to leave, and you tell me to stay.
My heart then aches for another day.
~
You only keep me close to keep me down.
I only see you smile when you see me frown.
You’re a vision of lovely, my mind’s a mess.
I gave you my love and you couldn’t care less.
~
I’m just a possession you wear on your arm.
I turn my back, and you turn up the charm.
Your eyes sparkle when you turn a man’s head.
My fears inflamed in our ice-cold bed.
~
You only keep me close to keep me down.
I only see you smile when you see me frown.
You’re a vision of lovely, my mind’s a mess.
I gave you my love and you couldn’t care less.
~
Our friends know the score, each take a side.
Some say I should run; some say you should hide.
Some say don’t go but all tell us lies.
We know the truth; we both lived the whys.
~
You only keep me close to keep me down.
I only see you smile when you see me frown.
You’re a vision of lovely, my mind’s a mess.
I gave you my love and you couldn’t care less.
~*~
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I Know

When sadness pervades a loved one tears flow the miles,
distance becomes time and worry drowns the smiles.
Now every phone call is answered with a pause.
As the words are all the same as is their cause.
~
The tribulation is felt through the air.
The pain is shared with those who care.
Though breaking a heart’s never been a crime,
as all wounds will heal given ample time.
~
There’s now a piece missing and never to return.
And trust, not love, becomes the main concern.
Perhaps agony is just a part of growing.
But sometimes happiness is better than knowing.

~*~
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Damn Slunk

Free will gives us choices.
Souls sort and weigh.
Lust fills in the blanks.
Feet tap another day.
~
When the fates of two collide,
change is felt together.
When hearts and minds align,
pairs will love forever.
~
When one of four is askew,
time will corrode and sever.
Love is not a slam dunk.
The heart and mind know never.

~*~
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Dwelling

Bed soon awaits this dreary day.
I wish sweet dreams would come my way.
I don’t want to fight or need to play.
I just hope tomorrow’s better than today.
~
I know this sounds gloomy, but I’ve only begun.
This poem could get worse or might be fun.
But we’ll have to wait until I’m done.
So let’s start again, this is line one.
~
Bed soon awaits this dreary day.
A day so dismal I’ve nothing to say.
But I didn’t get beat up or have dues to pay.
And that’s a lot better than it was yesterday.
~
Sad days are passing and heart’s mending well.
Tomorrow holds no promise or soul to sell.
My heart will beat again then I’ll joyously yell.
Now that sounds better, I’ve no longer to dwell.

~*~
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